Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want a musical about memes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
