he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
