so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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