no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize