Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
