my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
