Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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