i just had sex bonerless
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
