Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
