Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
