The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize