did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you will always have a special place in my vag
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
