i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
