So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
