we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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