i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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