i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
