the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
