Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
