I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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