D3 body, D1 cock
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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