Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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