this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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