Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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