I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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