They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my being single is dangerous.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
