Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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