I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wat bout pragnant strippers??
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
50% drunk capacity currently
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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