I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
