We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
