fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
