Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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