I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
