I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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