the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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