I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
