your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
