i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
