He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
