Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
