Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
