It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
