I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
