My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
