4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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