I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
