Your tits are I can't wait for
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
