I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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