Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
