I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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