I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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