Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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