Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
