Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
