don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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