Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Farmville is her only friend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
