So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize