So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize