grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
