Four minutes until I can fart!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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